I have this terrible awful habit, of creating these rules on a moment's notice....and I spurt them out...without even thinking. Afterwards, if someone brings up one of my rules...I had no idea I'd even said that. Since I am at the age where most friends are engaged/married, one of my favorite topics for rules is for how my proposal will go down (that is, when I'm ready for that sort of thing)
I've said everything from:
I want to be surprised
....I don't want to be TOO surprised
I'd like photos
...But I don't want someone I know there
He can have help
...but it has to be one of my friends, I don't trust his to keep a secret
It has to be a secret, none of this -everyone knows already deal
Not with family around
....but close enough so I can see them soon
I want it to be creative
...but no food involved
He needs to get down on one knee
...and he has to put the ring on me, I don't want to just find it.
Be certain I at least look sorta nice
...but don't make it obvious that its coming
Don't do it on a holiday, birthday, or obvious event
....but just a time where I can see everyone to tell people in person
No videos, I'll look angry when I'm surprised
Public places are okay, as long as its just strangers around
The ring had better fit,
...or I'll wait for him to get it sized before I say yes
...or I'll wait for him to get it sized before I say yes
And that is just to name a few....on one single topic.
Am I controlling....possibly...but more importantly, I know that engagements are so exciting... its not like I'd remember all the rules, or yell at him and say he has to do it over. Haha.
Just a little fact about me, to get to know me better, even if I'm not proud of it! And I'm just hoping I'm not the only girl out there that does this.
9 comments:
hahaha - this has me laughing out loud, for real! :)
I'm pretty controlling too! :) When my now-husband proposed...oh boy, I was just not paying any attention. I had no idea it was coming. We were sitting on a bench and I was being a total spaz, as he says, because I was looking at EVERYTHING BUT him. Finally, he just pulled out the ring and said "LOOK!" (I think...or something like that - it was honestly a blur lol) and he was still beside me on the bench. I got a little teary.. I forgot to say "yes"...I forgot to answer him. I just hugged him. He thought it could have been a pity hug - which is silly. We had already started planning our wedding. It's a complicated story, lol. ANYWAY... I later asked him WHY he didn't get down on one knee, didn't know that was a RULE?! He said he had planned on it but I kept looking around and trying to get up and walk away haha. So.. there ya have it. :)
I hope you to have all of your standards met & that you can be a more gracious proposal-ee than myself. :)
haha ya i had rules and such but they all went out of my mind when it happened. i realized what was happening and started squealing and just kept hugging Clint. i didnt even let him get the ring out never mind get down on one knee, which was his plan! haha but it was perfect and i wouldnt change it :)
hahah I loved these! I did the same thing. We were dating almost 8 years before we got married so obviously we'd discussed it before and I spurted out similar rules. "I hate surprises, but it's okay if I'm a little surprised, I don't want anyone there, not in public at all Mr!, and no restaurants either. But don't do it when I'm just rolled out of bed and look like a troll I need to be semi decent. And I want to be able to tell all our friends and family so don't go telling them all before hand or there will be no one else left to tell."
Needless to say, he proposed in front of 370+ people at my work (a live theatre)...on stage...all my family and his family and a few friends had been hidden in the audience. We got a standing ovation at the end. ...and it couldn't have been more perfect... although I did have a sneaking suspicion it was going to be soon, so I made sure to look good all week haha
I think it is excellent you have written out these rules for all to read, because since you have such exact expectations, you can now communicate them specifically and clearly to them. Now you can go, hey, Kev, look, I wrote about you on my blog today! LOL
Funnily enough, as I read this, these are all MY RULES too!!!!!! LOL Precisely! Those are my expectations too. I want the ring to fit, I want it photographed, I don't want people I know there, but I wouldn't mind them all waiting at a party at a house like, a few miles away so we could celebrate afterwards. I want to be surprised, I don't want to have any idea it's coming. I agree completely with ALL of your rules. There is not a single one I would deviate from or add to. Nope, nadda.
FYI, I might be getting booked for a wedding in Omaha this July!!!!!!!!!!! So I think that would be excellent weekend to get engaged. Because then I can be your secret paparazzi shooter! YAY! lol It would only be a three hour elopement wedding so I would have LOTS of free time to stalk you two around town! :D
When I went through this the first time around (you know my story I think) these were two engagement videos I loved to watch! (Even though they are video, I know.) And one engagement shoot (where it was done secretly) that's just gorgeous:
Okay, so I went to link you to these videos that were just beautiful, and I literally used to watch over and over when I was waiting for my ring from Matt, and the audio was removed for copyright infringement on YouTube. They aren't even pro videos, they were made by the grooms. Nice. Ah, yes, I understand technically from my law school days, but on the flip it's not for profit, it's personal use. Argh.
In one the guy was on vacation in Bali with his girlfriend and started talking about their trip, how meaningful it had been and turned it into how wonderful his girlfriend was. Seriously, it was so heartfelt I cried. It was set to Duncan Sheik's "For You" which, in the song they talk about giving you a golden ring. The woman has no idea where it's going when he starts talking about her and then he's asking her, it's just beautiful.
In the other one, the video was removed entirely for the music. That was set to "Book of Love" by Sting. (Or Phil Collins? Somebody like that.) The girl was sent on a scavenger hunt through the woods and comes upon this huge box in a clearing. She's already crying. The camera guy is a friend whose hiding in the bushes and she doesn't know he's there, so it just looks like the two of them. (lol) She pulls a pulley and the big present lifts and the groom is kneeling on the ground with the ring in his hand and he must be making the speech (you can't hear them talking) because he stays down, then you see her nod and cry and then they embrace. Oh it was just so sweet and so well done. There are a million and one videos on You Tube but those were the best I had ever seen that were home videos. I actually emailed the second guy and asked him if he would put the video back up. LOL
Well okay, if you're goofy, this one is great: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQVoAWSP7k4 lol, you may have seen that one before, it did go viral. :)
Here is the voyeur engagement shoot in the snow, so beautiful:
http://chrisemeottphotography.com/blog/mike-glenna-proposal/
Oh, I was going to say too, that when it happens, all those rules will probably go right out the window because you'll just be so happy and excited and emotional.
lol... Although you might b*tch about it later. LOL
** communicate them specifically and clearly TO HIM, not to them.
Ugh. I wish you could edit comments! Sorry!
Those sound so so similar to my rules-- but I add in "and I won't say yes unless everything is exactly right."
I feel bad for whoever asks me:)
ha ha oh you're definitely not the only one! I believe the "make sure I look nice", "no holidays" and the "you'd better get that thing sized because no one's touching it after you propose" all came out of my mouth several times. He was also not allowed to tell anyone (especially my mom) when he would propose because I would have figured it out. Look at it this way though, at least now Kevin has all of the rules written out on your blog to look to for future reference!
Loosen up, lady!! I speak from experience... Much like you, I had voiced my opinions on my "must have" engagement rules. My then boyfriend worked his tail off to try and make things happen the way I wanted to bad that it completely lost the fun surprise factor. When he dropped down on one knee, I already knew what was going to happen and was almost mad at myself for being so anal about it before. Loosen up... let it happen in its own time. Let your guy do things his own way and propose the way he wants, when he is ready. You'll have an entire lifetime together and can boss him around then. ;)
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